This exercise is something that I devised after a specific request from a teacher who wanted to use the Pokemon™ obsession of her class to good effect. Its principles are based on the workshop ideas outlined by Peter Samson in Writing Poems (Bloodaxe 1994). The idea being to lead the writing away from pre-conceived monsters to personally conceived monstrous characters.

Making Monsters

Gadrazalo's the monster
I made up last week.
A monster so scary
I'm now losing sleep!

It has ...!

The Exercise

1) Get the class to start listing parts of the body. Hair, eyes, ears, nose etc.... down to the toes! As this is a monster that we are constructing, try also to get a few animal or robot body parts into the list too. A little bit of outrageousness goes a long way in this exercise so, if your Head will allow it, sneak a titter word, or two, into the list as well, along with something disgusting like tentacles, fangs or claws. Also list out non-corporal attributes of monsters as well, like voice and smell, as these are useful words for triggering descriptions later in the exercise. Write out the words suggested by the class on the board for future reference.

2) In the next stage of the exercise, get the class to start listing things that they hate on paper. Their first responses will probably be the obvious...(school, You-the Teacher!, writing poems in class etc.) so try and lead the group on to other things. Get the group to write down about eight things that they really hate. Then ask them to think about why they hate the things that they have written down. The aim of this exercise is to draw attention to the power of similes, so ideally it should be some attribute that will be fitted into a descriptive sentence.

e.g.: I hate sago because it is slimy.

3) In the next stage of the exercise the class needs to select a body part from the list on the board to go with one of their own hates and to link the two things together. (For groups that have not come across the idea of simile before, this exercise works best when you provide the class with the words 'as' and 'like' on the board as well.)

e.g.: Her/His/It's tongue is as slimy as cold sago pudding

Some pet hates seem to be visual, others oral, tactile or olfactory so it is also a good idea to remind the class about their senses in the course of finding similes for their monsters' noses, mouths and eyes etc. as these will be useful for other parts of the monsters' bodies. By linking up all eight hates with eight body parts and adding the starting sequence (* insert name here*'s the monster that we made up in class...). each student has the beginnings of a poem.

4) Finally, of course, the monsters need names! There are many ways of doing this but one way that works well (and also gets the class thinking about syllables and sounds) is to get each member of a small group or table to donate a syllable to their friends. A group with students named Gavin, Mandra, Moniza & Lois came up with "Gadrazalo".

Making Monsters

Bunizoolo's the monster
I made up last week.
A monster so scary
I'm now losing sleep..!

It has quibbles for flesh
It has sago for skin
Its voice is a sermon
On Original Sin

It has spokesmen for spikes
And cutbacks for claws
Its ribs are all wonky
Like half-opened drawers

It has barbed-wired feet
And OFSTED-ing arms
When springing it sounds
Like an intruder alarm

It has landmines for lungs
And a heartful of haste
Its clothes are all pressed
Make me feel outta place

It has tax-forms for teeth
And hang-nails for eyes
Its head is the shape
of an old kipper tie

It has breath like a dog
A smile like a wake
And a face that's as sad
as a burnt bit of cake

Bumzoolo's a monster
Brought out of my mind
When you look there for monsters
Beware of your finds!

My follow-up to this exercise is to lead the group into thinking about the drawing of characters (the more disgusting the better it seems for Years 1-3). 

One of the best books for poems with revolting character interest is the Cautionary Tales by Hilaire Belloc. I think that 'Matilda' and 'Charles Augustus Fortescue' & 'Rebecca' (all from a Puffin Book called Selected Cautionary Tales 1950) are some of the most monstrous. There are also some pretty revolting children in Wes Magee's The Scribblers of of Scumbagg School (there is a nice illustrated version of this by Orchard Books 1994). 

For a change I also read from When I Dance by James Berry (Puffin 1990) which draws on the rhythms and cultural images of the Carribean. The section titled 'What we said sitting making fantasies' is very good. I have recently used section 3 to start off a day of monster writing to good effect (see poem below). 

What Said Sitting Making Fantasies (part 3)

At last I have my anger breathalyser
that shows them all-
parents, teachers, friends -
the fires they start
when they make me cross.
I just whip out
my Angerlyser.
Offender watches me blow
hard into it
and sees it swell
its fierce balloon of green
then black then red
and sees it drop and burst
into a flame, three colours
of horned heads and teeth
flaring, jumping, hissing
popping, spluttering -
all around the culprit's feet.
And I just walk away.

- James Berry

For very young children the Winnie-the-Pooh poems are also very good. I sometimes read from a book called The Hums of Pooh (Methuen 1972); I particularly like the verse called 'If Rabbit was bigger...' as it allows the workshop leader to then get the class to write their own 'If' poems (eg 'If you were the teacher and I was the pupil ...'what would things be like' poems, which are always frighteningly monstrous).

© Gavin Stewart 2000 

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