poetryclass - exeter project

editing draft poems, peer evaluations

TIME: 70 min

RESOURCES REQUIRED: A few lines of dull poetry! (Drafting sheet)

LESSON OUTLINE
Introductions/episodes/transitions/consolidation/recap

Whole class: Free writing for max five minutes.

Whole class: Discuss editing and drafting - what are they? What problems did the class have when they had to redraft for homework? Are they now 100% satisfied with their work? Show a couple of poems in draft.

Whole class: Write a couple of lines of a dull poem (of my making) on the board. Ask for criticisms. Afterwards, point out that I wrote it and ask them to make their comments in a way that is not going to hurt my feeling s and that is constructive. What should be said? Make students aware how their comments might make others feel.

Whole class: Change the poem so that it is more interesting. Proof read it to correct spellings and punctuation.

Individually / in pairs: Choose a few lines from their jotter to redraft. Hand it to their neighbour for peer evaluation. Hear results and then redraft it.

FURTHER ACTION: Homework set; work incomplete; pupils needing support; alterations to forward plans

H/Wk: Redraft one of their poems and present it beautifully - to be handed in next week.

HANDOUT

Read through the following, rather dull poems.

1)
I walked over the bridge,
Looking at its shape.
I thought about the letter
That had fallen on the mat
At breakfast time.
I nearly choked on my breakfast cereal
When I realised what it actually meant for me.

2)
The shout echoed down the passage.
We all heard it, and felt scared.
What had we heard?
Was it an animal or a person?
I looked at my friend.
She said something but I didn't hear it.

Would you like to read any of these as they are? Your task is to rewrite one of them to make it more interesting. They need to make the reader feel something, so you need to change the poem so that it has a strong effect on the reader. Think about what the speaker in the poem is thinking. Are they happy or sad?

Did the letter contain good news or bad, and how would this affect your choice of words?
What do the words actually used say? Think particularly about the difference between walking, strutting or staggering. What is the difference between talking, whispering and screeching?
Is there any information that should have been included or that could have been left out?

Return to Exeter Model Sequence of Lessons